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Mary Cosby opened up about her relationship with her son, Robert Cosby Jr., during an interview on Wednesday.

Following the sharing of a preview of Mary, 51, and Robert Jr., 21, breaking down during an emotional moment on The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Mary offered an update on her troubled son while also sharing why her husband Robert Cosby Sr. opted to take a step back from filming, explaining the absence of her church on the show, and revealing the biggest misconception fans have about her.

“In that moment I feel like Robert told me it was sometimes where he was on substances that he just didn’t want to live and that right there, that was an eye opener for me. I’m like, ‘You don’t want to live?’” Mary recalled of their on-screen moment during an October 9 interview with Entertainment Tonight. “I don’t have thoughts like that but I came to the realization that it’s substance. They alter your thoughts and your brain and they can make you go dark and you can think like that and I was like, ‘If you’re not here, I don’t have anything to live for.’ And I want him to know that. [That’s] my truth.”

While exposing her challenging moments with Robert hasn’t been easy, Mary said she didn’t mind being real with the cameras because she’s “proud of [her] son.”

“He’s trying to wake up and he’s super sheltered and I blame myself because I’m like, ‘Did I give him the tools to triumph in life and soar?’ I hope I did. But I know that I spoiled him too and I don’t mind people seeing what I created and see that he’s a beautiful, responsible guy,” she noted. “I take my full accountability for what he is and he takes his accountability for what he’s in and he’s trying to change it and make it better and I appreciate him for that.”

After testing positive for cocaine, fentanyl, and marijuana last year, Robert Jr. entered rehab over the summer. But, today, Mary said he’s “doing good.”

“He’s taking it day by day,” she shared, confirming that he still lives with her and Robert Sr.

Mary also revealed that Robert Jr. is “not legally married. Thank God,” although his “wife,” Alexiana, is still in the picture.

“Unfortunately,” Mary fumed. “I just think that they’re toxic. They create toxicity when they’re together and it’s not a good mix. [And] I feel like the more I put into that and the more I push it, the more he’s gonna gravitate to her so I know to just back off and just let him to figure it out himself and he’s figuring it out. He sees it.”

As for her husband, Mary said Robert Sr. made the choice not to film after feeling betrayed by production.

“That is his choice. I feel like Robert Sr. is like — I wouldn’t say most men — but once you hurt them or betray them. They have a hard time recovering back and his trust level with this process has been crossed,” she noted. “So he just stepped back and out and that’s his hard decision. I’m like, ‘Come on. Let it go.’ He’s like ‘No I can’t let it go. That’s where we are right now. But he’s still my best friend. He’s still my husband. We’ve been married for 26 years.”

Before celebrating their 25th anniversary, Mary said she thought reaching that point “wasn’t normal.”

“Nobody makes it 25 years. Not these days. But I noticed I started forgetting when we got married … After 25 years you start forgetting and it’s normal. It’s just life, you and him, your kid,” she admitted.

Despite having been the target of negative comments about her marriage from the RHOSLC cast, Mary said that she isn’t hurt at all.

“Matter of fact it made us closer. I’ve always just been the person to do what I believe in. If I believe in it, I’m gonna do it and I don’t care what people say as long as the man upstairs is happy with me,” she noted.

Mary’s church has also faced harsh banter. And, during season five, it wasn’t featured.

“We remodeled it and we’re still doing the benches and doing different things, the floors, but it’s all redone. It’s more up-to-date looking on the inside. It looks beautiful. But once we’re done, we’ll open back up,” Mary revealed.

As for why Bravo didn’t film the church for the new season, Mary said, “I don’t even think that that was in question … I don’t think Bravo wanted to film it. Or me. Because that’s very sensitive for me.”

Moving on to the “biggest misconception,” Mary signaled a rumor about her church.

“That I take the partitioner’s money and that I was living off their money. That was kind of sad for me to hear that. I wasn’t expecting it,” she admitted. “It was disappointing and the biggest misconception cuz it’s not true.”

Also during the interview, after opening up about her estrangement from her mother on the show, Mary confirmed they are still not in touch.

“I haven’t heard from my mom in 20-plus years. She’s never reached out. She doesn’t care like that. She has way more things that’s important to her than her kids and it’s always been like that,” she revealed.

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City season five airs Wednesdays at 9/8c on Bravo.

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